Learn About: The Power of 'I Can'

Often when we start doing something new our brain does something pretty annoying. It starts coming up with all the reasons why this new thing isn’t a good idea, all the ways that you could fail, all the negatives…and we start thinking ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I shouldn’t do this’, ‘This is a terrible idea’!

This is something that I see happen to so many parents when they take the leap into home education; we are so conditioned that there is only one ‘right’ way of learning that we get scared when presented with so many different options. And you know what, that’s totally normal – the human brain is actually wired with what is called a negativity bias.

This means that our brains have a natural tendency to register and dwell on negative stimuli more readily. Think about our ancient ancestors for a moment; it was critically important that they be able to identify and categorise the positives (food, shelter, safety) and negatives (predators, disease, injury, pain) of life – it was a matter of life and death that they pay extra attention to the negatives. Reacting intensely, remembering those negatives well and over time becoming more sensitive to them ensured that they were more alert to the dangers around them and in turn, had a better chance of survival.

Unfortunately for us, our brains still have this inbuilt mechanism to focus on and hold onto these bad experiences or feelings – we are motivated to avoid anything that we perceive as bad and will often find excuses not to pursue new (and potentially very good) things to avoid experiencing anything negative – the opinions of others, stress (financially or emotionally), challenges or mistakes.

I think you’re probably starting to see how this relates to those tummy-flipping, chaotic thoughts that contribute to sleepless nights when trying to make the decision to homeschool (or continue homeschooling). We see and latch onto any negatives whether they are perceived or real and it actually cripples our decision-making processes – our brains are working against us!

So how can we get past this negativity bias and make the right decisions based on facts?

Well, it’s simpler than you might think. I call it the Power of ‘I Can’!

Something that we need to know about our brains is that they are not stuck in this negative looping until the end of our days. The human brain is incredibly versatile and has what scientists call neuroplasticity. This neuroplasticity allows us to reshape our nerve cells and change the way our brains work! How incredible is that! Thinking strengthens our neural pathways – so the more we think about negative things the stronger those pathways become in our minds – making it very difficult for the positive pathways to compete. If you think about it like trails through the bush – the trails that are travelled the most will become well worn and clear of debris – but those that aren’t so popular or are only used by the local small wildlife are much less obvious. The same is true of the pathways or ‘trails’ in our brains – the more we travel our neural pathways the more obvious and stronger those pathways become in the landscape of our brains – meaning that our brains are more likely to use those pathways when making decisions or working its way through the thinking process.

So how do we change our brains from negative bias to a more positive outlook?

The great news is that as long as you know how to develop and strengthen your neural pathways, you can change just about anything you want! Here are some strategies that you might find useful in training your brain out of its negative bias.

Affirmations

The first strategy I’m going to talk about is Affirmations. Now, lots of people already use Affirmations and they have become very popular over the last few years – but if they’re new to you here’s a quick snapshot to get you started. Affirmations are basically positive statements that you use to influence your brain into taking a more positive outlook on life. Thinking back to what we’ve just learnt about the human brain – the more you work those neural pathways, the stronger they become – affirmations are like weight training for your brain, resulting in a more positive way of thinking. For positive Affirmations to work most effectively, they should be:

• Brief – keeping Affirmations to a short sentence allows the brain to process and remember more effectively
  

• Positive – flip any negative thoughts you have into its positive opposite
  

• Present Tense & First Person – think ‘I Am…’ statements – these focus the brain and convince it that the statement is attainable
  

• Repeated Often – the more you exercise those thought patterns the stronger they will become

The ‘I Can Do This’ Strategy

The second strategy I’d like to share with you is a little something I personally really like to do; I call it the ‘I Can Do This’ Strategy. If Affirmations seem a little out there to you, or you are feeling very time poor and can’t see how to build them into your days consistently then this one is for you – it is so easy you could do it in your sleep…literally! Here’s how it works: 1. It’s the end of the day and you’re ready for bed, so hop on in and get comfy (easy right?) 2. Close your eyes and relax, get ready to drift off into a wonderful sleep (getting easier…) 3. But wait…before you nod off completely, tell yourself ‘I Can Do This’ and get a clear picture in your mind about what it is you see yourself doing really well. Maybe you’ve been struggling to get into a routine – so imagine yourself breezing through the day, everything falling into place. Or maybe you’ve been struggling to support your child in their math work – so imagine yourself finding a resource that makes it a breeze for you and them. 4. Keep that picture in your mind for a few moments, then tell yourself again ‘I Can Do This’ 5. Go to sleep. This strategy has to be THE easiest way to modify your neural pathways to a more positive bias, but here’s the best part…it actually works! The brain, in sleep is actually working quite hard because our brains store memories and new information from the previous day. Scientists have quite recently discovered that during sleep the cells in the brain do some interesting things that make the connections between cells stronger; if the cells involved in learning new information (like your ‘I Can Do This’ statements) then they will continue to fire during sleep and create strong networks of neurons that will relay information much faster and more efficiently – meaning that instead of having a negative bias, all of our work teaching our brain to think more positively will have worked, and our brains will automatically use those more optimistic patterns of thought. Pretty cool huh!?

So, how does this affect new homeschoolers, I hear you say?

Well, apart from the obvious examples I gave above; we often think about education being something that we do as children or young adults, and then we get on with living ‘real’ life. But in reality, we are always learning – and our brains love it! If you’re trying to do something new and your brain is holding you back, you just need to get to know how your brain works, gather the tools to support its growth, and step out into something new without the negative biases and fear. Essentially, those nagging voices in the back of your mind telling you you’re making a horrible decision are instinctual fears left over from a time long gone – we are wise to our brain’s tricks and can overcome them if we try. What a wonderful way to step into a new way of learning, by trying it out ourselves – retraining our own brains; and then passing those skills onto our children!

How can I get the kids involved?

Affirmations and the ‘I Can Do This’ Strategy are great for kids too! It’s so easy that you can even use it with tiny tots! Kids are usually very receptive to trying out new things; so this is a great way to train their brains early to stay open to new ideas. Not only does it help them develop open-mindedness, but it supports their emotional wellbeing too! Here are some ways you can use Affirmation Cards with kids:

• Stick them on the mirror in the bathroom – they can read their Affirmations while they brush their teeth
  

• Next to their bed – they can start their day with a beautiful, positive thought
  

• On the fridge – you can share an Affirmation and talk about what it makes you think and feel
  

• Share them at bedtime – remember strengthening those neural pathways!

Introducing Affirmations can be supported by explaining to your child/ren that Affirmations teach new and positive ways of thinking, they help you to believe in yourself, feel happy, and help you feel better when you are feeling sad or angry.

Freebie! Be sure to grab your free set of SproutEd Learning Hub's Tiny Tots Affirmation Cards.

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For Big People!

And head on over to our store to buy some beautiful adult Affirmation Cards or Prints.

A4 Print with Wooden Hanger - Enchanted Forest Affirmation Collection

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Automatic Negative Thoughts Here is another fabulous resource for children to help them understand negativity bias.

Free Resource Download

Now head on over to their website to grab your free resource download.

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Learn More About Your Brain

If you’d like to learn more about your brain and how to use it to maximise contentment, calm and confidence in your life; then this wonderful book by Rick Hanson is for you.

Free with Audible Trial!